I consider myself a beer connoisseur, as I possess a sophisticated palate and ridiculously high standards of quality.  So refined is my taste that my lips will literally act on their own accord and deny the passage of swill.

I acknowledge these examples of “popular” brews as swill, in order of abhorrence:  “The Beast,” otherwise known as Milwaukee’s Best.  It was a sad, sad day in history when the makers of this foulness deemed it their best; Old Milwaukee.  Wisconsin would have done better to limit their manufacturing and processing to cheese; Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Pronouncing Pabst while intoxicated is just as difficult as trying to keep the shit down; Stroh’s.  They make ice cream that tastes pretty fuckin’ decent; The entire Budweiser family, Budweiser & Clamato Chelada being the worst; Keystone Light.  It tastes like ass water; Natural Light.  It tastes like ass water; The three members of the Busch clan, Busch, Busch Light and Busch Ice.

Notice that all of the beers listed above are American domestics.  That is because most American domestic brews are fucking yucky, save these fine examples:  Oberon, a wheat ale bottled under Bell’s, one of my very favie Michigan breweries; Michelob and Michelob Light, but not Michelob Ultra!  Michelob Ultra should have actually been number three on the swill list; Miller Light.  It tastes great and is less filling, or so the slogan goes; Brasserie Blonde, bottled under the Arbor Brewing Co., another of Michigan’s finest breweries; Raspberry Lambic Ale, also brewed in Michigan; Blue Moon Belgian White.  Belgian White is a wheat ale complimented with coriander and orange.  Blue Moon Belgian White made it’s debut in Denver, Colorado in 1995.  I am most thankful for this beer, as I believe it is the nectar of the gods.

As for non-American domestic beers, Guinness is superior.  This stout is so unique, it is incomparable.  Heineken is good when it is really, really fucking cold, and piss poor skunky when it becomes tepid; the same goes for Amstel.  Harp is fucking delicious, most especially when you pair it with Guinness to make yumtastic Black & Tans.